A reflection on one year of marriage

I'm so thankful to my wife of now one year!  She understands me like no one else does, inspires and encourages me that fuels my persistence like no one else can, and most of all, loves me for who I am.  That's hard to find (outside of our parents and our loving heavenly Father).  She laughs at my puns (sometimes... when they are good), keeps me accountable for blabbing my mouth, and needs me for hugs on hard days.

But to say that marriage is easy is a lie.  It challenges you every day with how selfish you are, and constantly reminds you that you need more and more of the grace of Jesus to continue in marriage.  But it is the very best tangible way to recognize how much grace is essential to growth as a person, a spouse, and in the fruit of the Spirit towards Christ-likeness.  As a single, it is generally easy to say whatever is on your mind and do whatever you feel like doing.  After a hangout with my wife, I have got in the habit of doing a check-up: "Did I say anything in there to embarrass you?" or "Are you upset or just tired?"  I ask these things because earlier in our marriage I would say or do something that embarrassed her, and it took a while for it to come out (and when I would finally figure it out, I would get defensive, which never improves things).  There's the age-old adage that "When mama isn't happy, nobody is happy."  This is hopefully true (even before she is a mama).  It is true because you both (hopefully) care about the other.

Tips I've learned (not necessarily ranked by importance)
1. Pray over her with a tactful but heartfelt prayer
2. Keep open communication always (esp. of plans and feelings)
3. Intentionally show you care as much as possible
4. Remember the other has your best at heart (even when it doesn't seem so)
5. Identify miscommunication impartially and move on
6. Don't use blame language nor get defensive when blamed
7. Do stuff that the other person likes and you don't
8. Forgive pre-emptively before they offend or annoy you
9. Hug them tenderly when you both feel least like hugging
10. Trust each other with money, but lovingly stay accountable (esp. asking before big purchases)